No place to hide: What you need to know about stalking

January 21, 2021 | Blogs

The numbers are staggering.

According to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS), 1 in 6 women and 1 in 17 men have been stalked in their lifetime.

In many cases, the victim knows the stalker.

Stalking is not a single incident, but a pattern of behavior directed at a specific person. Even if the behavior seems harmless, it can still constitute a criminal offense. Stalking is a crime in all 50 states, the U.S. Territories and the District of Columbia, though what constitutes as stalking varies. (Section 3-802 of Maryland's Criminal Law defines stalking as a "malicious course of conduct" whereby the offender intends to threaten or place another in fear or danger. To constitute "stalking," the offender must act with intent, meaning he or she is intending to put the victim in "reasonable" fear of harm.)

You may be a victim of stalking if someone is:

repeatedly calling your phone
physically following you or showing up wherever you are
sending you unwanted gifts, letters, texts or emails
checking your phone or computer use through spyware
threatening to hurt you or your family, friends or pets
using other people (like your children, family members or friends) to try to communicate with you

Stalking is dangerous and often violent act that can escalate over time.

If you are a victim of stalking, it is normal to be fearful of what the stalker is capable of and feel vulnerable and unsafe. It is an emotionally distressing situation, one that can cause depression, isolation, frustration and confusion. If you, as a result of experiencing stalking, begin changing your behavior or missing work or school to avoid contact with your stalker, take it as a sign that you must take proper action to protect yourself.

If you are being stalked or believe that you are being stalked, take these steps to protect yourself:

Alert others: Ask trusted friends, family, neighbors, coworkers and your HR department to keep an eye out for suspicious activity so they don't mistakenly give out information to someone pretending to be a loved one.
Be aware of your technology use: Consider disabling location services and geotags on your phone and photos.
Call 911 for immediate assistance: Trust your instincts and call for help if you feel you are in danger.
Connect with an advocate: Advocates are at local domestic violence and sexual assault agencies, police departments, and the district attorney's office. Advocates can help explain local stalking laws, walk you through filing a protective order, connect you with local services and help you develop a safety plan.
Create a safety plan: A safety plan identifies the factors that are causing or contributing to the risk of harm to the victim and their loved ones and helps develop interventions.
Document every incident: Make a log of encounters with the stalker, hang-up calls and public sightings. Save all messages and emails along with your call history.
End all contact: Although it is easier said than done, try not to answer calls or messages, even if you have asked the stalker to stop contacting you.
Take threats seriously: A direct threat against you is an obvious sign of danger. A stalker can also use threats of suicide or self-harm to manipulate you into staying in contact with them and thereby keeping you in a potentially dangerous situation.
Prepare your children: Teach your children what to do in an emergency. Show them where to hide and how to call the police for help.

Remember, stalking is a form of domestic abuse. If you need help, you can contact:

Baltimore County

The DOVE Program: 410-496-7555 (Business Hours: Monday-Friday, 9 a.m.-5 p.m.)
Baltimore County Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Hotline: 410-828-6390 (24/7 response)

Baltimore City

Sinai Domestic Violence Program: 410-601-8692 (Business Hours: Monday-Friday, 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m.)
House of Ruth: 410-889-0840

Anywhere in the United States

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 410-800-SAFE(7233) (24/7 response)

Visit lifebridgehealth.org or call 410-601-WELL to learn more about LifeBridge Health services.