Center for Hope Resources

You can be the difference

Common reactions to a homicide or other violent crime:

• Prolonged crying and sadness

• Fear

• Nightmares and difficulty sleeping

• Anxiety

• Nausea or headaches

• Difficulty concentrating

• Disorientation and confusion

• Uneasiness

• Emotional detachment

• Anger

• Acting out emotionally

Even if children are not direct witnesses of the violence, they can still suffer the same traumatic stresses as victims. The most effective way to help minimize any long-term effects is to contact BCAC as soon as possible after the event.

How BCAC can help

BCAC offers services to help children who have witnessed or have been affected by a homicide. These services include advocacy and therapy. Please contact BCAC at 410-396-6147 for any questions or concerns.

Stop Sexting

It may seem like just a picture or a video, but once sent, you can’t take it back. Digital information lasts forever, and you have no control over who it gets sent to and who will see it.

What is Sexting?

Sending sexually explicit photographs or messages via mobile phone or another electronic device. “But I just sent it to one person! Who else can see it?” Once you send or post an image or video, you have no control over how it may be distributed or how long it will remain online. That means your friends, family, strangers—everyone could potentially view the image, including college admissions staff and potential employers.

Can I get in trouble? Is it illegal?

Any form of depiction of a minor less than 18 years that is sufficiently sexually suggestive or in which that youth is engaging in sexually explicit conduct is child sexual abuse images.

What do I do if I’ve sent something or if someone has distributed an image of me?

Delete it as soon as possible or have an honest conversation with the person you sent it to and let them know you would like them to delete it. Always talk to a trusted adult. This may be a parent, a caregiver, a teacher or a counselor. They can help you decide what further steps need to be taken.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

In 1995, CDC researchers discovered 10 common Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) relating to child abuse, neglect and household dysfunction that have remarkably been proven to have costly detrimental outcomes as children become adults. BCAC recognizes the integral role that ACEs play in understanding childhood maltreatment, which is why we’ve included it in our agency mission.

Healthy Relationships with Children

Teach and model characteristics of healthy relationships to your child including empathy, expressed feelings, equality, fairness, respect and boundaries. It is important to know that most abuse is in the hands of someone who has gained the trust of a victim and their family.

• Encourage Questions: Good communication ensures that when something is difficult, the parent or caregiver is there to help. If your child tells you they feel uncomfortable with an adult, listen.

• Listen: Encourage your child to come to you and other helpful, healthy adults with questions about bodies and touch. Review your family’s values and rules for both at home and when you are not around. A child must be empowered to listen to their instincts.

• Teach Empathy: Empathy plays a major role in a child’s future happiness and success. Empathy promotes kindness, prosocial behaviors and moral courage. It is effective against bullying, aggression, prejudice and racism. This allows children to imagine others’ boundaries and begin to understand how to respect those boundaries.

• Be Friendly, Not Friends: Adults who work with your child should have training and be competent and appropriate to their level of responsibility.

• Trust Your Instincts: You know your family and child better than anyone and if something does not feel right, then it is not right.

• Teach about Healthy Sexuality: Teach your child to recognize appropriate behavior and to avoid exploitive or inappropriate behavior towards others. Respect your child’s decision to protect their body and space. Remember, an offender will slowly try to groom a child and their parents and caregivers through more “normal” touches.

• Help Your Child Understand their Boundaries: Teach children to understand physical, emotional and behavioral boundaries. Adults must establish and respect appropriate boundaries with a child.

• Watch for “Red Flags” with Other Adults and Your Child: Trust your instincts and remove your child from a situation if you feel uncomfortable. Be aware of red flags such as an adult treating your child as a peer, using inappropriate language or inappropriate touch, allowing or encouraging illegal activities, treating your child as a favorite, or looking for time alone with your child.

• Empower Your Child: Empower your child as a partner in the prevention process. Encourage them to adopt healthy strategies to protect themselves, such as checking with a caregiver/adult before doing activities, going places with friends instead of alone and identifying trusted adults.

• Keep the Rule of Three: Make sure that all of your child’s interactions with others are observable, interruptible and appropriate. Offenders operate by access, privacy and control. If your child must be alone with an adult for lessons or sports or babysitting, check in occasionally or show up at an unexpected time, just to be sure everything is okay.

• Tell Your Child that Secrets are Not Okay: Tell your child that there are no secrets kept in your family, and no one should ever ask them to keep a secret. Talk about surprises instead – how we surprise people with gifts and presents on their birthday or planning a party. The difference is that surprises are always shared with others and secrets are not.

• Inquire about Verbal Interactions: Ask your child about conversations they have with other adults. Adults should never participate in the use of inappropriate names, belittling comments or sexual innuendos.

• Talk about Body Safety: Teaching your child the proper names for their private body parts will help them communicate with you if they should ever have a question related to illness, hygiene or abuse.

• Talk and Talk and Talk Some More: Create an environment in your home where your child feels comfortable sharing information and asking tough questions without being judged. Be accessible, and non-judgmental. Maintain ongoing communication and dialogue about safety issues.

• Laugh with Your Child: Laugh! Our days are filled with stress, obligations, work and school. Even though you are physically present with your child, you may be disconnected. Laughter, play and joy are essential to connect with your child.

• Encourage Your Child: Encourage your child to tell you or a trusted adult when they see inappropriate or harmful interactions between an adult and child.

• Model Respect: As the saying goes, we have to give respect to earn respect. We cannot teach respect to a child by being disrespectful to them.

• Tell the Truth: Have open and honest conversations with your child. Speak to your child in a developmentally appropriate way and in a manner that suits their skill level. Their concerns should be addressed honestly and directly.

• Report: It is imperative that all incidents of inappropriate behavior of an adult with a child be reported to the appropriate person and/or civil authorities. Not all inappropriate incidents are abuse but reporting to a supervisor, if possible, can let the person know they are being monitored. If child abuse is suspected, it must be reported to the appropriate civil authorities immediately as required by Maryland law, regardless of how long ago the abuse occurred.

Selecting Child Care

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